As I'm getting ready to record this episode, I'm inundated with news stories about a huge winter storm forecast to impact most of the United States. Including places that typically don't get winter weather, like where I live and by the time you are listening, if you were in the path of that storm, you already know what happened. You already know whether it was disruptive or manageable. You already know if you dealt with snow, ice, power issues, cancelled plans, canceled school, or that strange waiting period where everyone's refreshing their weather app. And that's exactly why this matters because the forecast can steal your peace before anything actually happens. And this isn't just a weather thing, this is a life thing. A future fear can rob your present joy and a past fear can rob your present joy too. So today we are talking about what you can control and what you can't. Real storms and mental storms, and I'm going to give you a simple tool that you can use to shift from anxious energy to grounded energy so you can prepare well, lead yourself well, and create your next success even when life feels uncertain. Welcome back to the Your Next Success podcast. I am Carolione Sangal, life first career coach and strategist. This is a short episode built to be practical, the kind of thing that gives you items and actions you can use today. Here's what's happening, when you feel that storm anxiety or that life anxiety, your mind is trying to protect you. It starts scanning, it starts predicting, it starts running scenarios. It starts reaching for certainty and when certainty isn't available, it tries to create a sense of control by thinking more, checking again, reading more, refreshing, replaying. So if you've been there, there is nothing wrong with you. Your brain is trying to help. We're just going to teach it a better job description and get some new skills. Here's the tool, it's three words, control, influence, release, and I want you to feel how this is. Control is what belongs to you, your choices, your preparation, your words, your attention, your boundaries, your response. Influence is what you can shape. A conversation, a plan, expectations, communication, the tone in your home, the clarity at work. Release is what was never yours to carry, the weather, the outcome, the exact timeline. Other people's reactions, other people's opinions. Let's say the obvious ones out loud. You cannot control the weather. You cannot control what the storm ultimately does. You cannot control what other people do. You cannot control what other people say about you or think about you. Those are release items and the moment you stop wrestling release items, you get your strength back. Now, here's how you can use this in real time, because I want this to be something that you can reach for when your mind starts getting really loud. I call this the control filter. If you're driving, just listen. If you're somewhere you can pause for a second, then do this with me. First, we name what's taking up space, so finish the sentence. The thing pulling on my mind right now is... and you keep it to one thing, not your whole life. One situation. Like the thing pulling on my mind right now is this winter storm Fern, since when did winter storms get names? But whatever. Okay. Then here's the filter question that changes the whole experience, is this in my control, my influence, or my release? Because your nervous system settles when your mind stops trying to manage what was never yours to manage. So let's walk through. If this is control, we're looking for one small action that creates stability. Not 10 things, one. Something you can do today. In a real storm that might be charging devices, laying out flashlights. It might be grabbing groceries or medication. It might be filling the gas tank or adjusting plans so that you're not on the road when conditions get dangerous. In a mental storm, control might be even simpler. It might be, i'm gonna send that email I've been avoiding. I'm going to set a boundary that I've been taking myself out of. I'm gonna update my LinkedIn for 30 minutes instead of doom scrolling. I'm gonna take a walk and let my body settle before I respond to that text. And here's a control move that I love because it protects your piece immediately. Pick two times a day to check for updates, morning and evening. Whether that's weather updates, work updates, email, news, whatever it is that you're tracking, because constant checking feels like control, but it just trains your brain to stay on high alert. Preparation gives your mind something solid to do. Then you get to live your life in between the checking. Now if it was influence that you came up with, the question becomes, what can I communicate clearly? Influence is where you stop hinting and start leading. It sounds like, here's our plan, here's what I need, here's when I'm making a decision, here's what I'm available for and what I'm not. Short, calm, direct. That's leadership. And if the answer was it's release, then we name it. That's not mine to carry. The weather is release. Other people's reactions are release. Whether someone approves of your decision is release, whether a company changes direction is release. You can still care, you can still be wise, you can just stop trying to control what isn't controllable, and then you bring your attention back to what is yours. That's how you create your next success from where you actually have power. Now, here's a distinction that I want you to remember because it can save you hours of stress. There is a difference between preparing and rehearsing. Preparing turns concern into action, you can feel it in your body and you get steadier because something is being handled. Rehearsing can turn concern into more thinking, you run scenarios, you replay conversations, you predict outcomes. You can try to solve a future that hasn't even happened yet. And so if you catch yourself looping or spiraling, ask this simple question, am I preparing? Or am I rehearsing? And if you're rehearsing, you don't need to judge yourself. You just need to redirect. Control. Influence. Release. That pivot right there is a moment of mental fitness, that pivot is your next success. Now, let's talk about mental storms, because a lot of people listening are not just dealing with weather. Some of you are dealing with a job that drains you. You're waking up already tight, you're pushing through the day, you're doing everything right and still feeling miserable. And if your mind is scanning for a way out, it is scanning for the right answer. It is trying to make that uncertainty disappear. A mental storm can sound like: What if I make the wrong move? What if I leave and regret it? What if I stay and waste years? What if I'm behind? What if I'm too late? What if people judge me? What if I'm not qualified? And this is where that line matters. The fear of the future can rob your present joy and the regret of the past can rob it also. Regret pulls you backward. Anxiety pulls you forward, but both steal today. So we apply the tool. You can't control what other people say about you. You can't control whether someone gets it. You can't control the timing of every outcome. You can control your integrity. You can control your boundaries. You can control the rooms you choose to stay in. You can control what you do to create momentum and clarity. So if you're miserable in your job and you want something new, control might look like: I'm gonna get honest about what I need. I'm gonna stop pretending this is fine, I am gonna take one small action toward my next success this week, even if I don't have the whole plan yet. That's how change actually begins, it begins with ownership. Okay, let's lock this in with a quick reset that you can feel. Breathe into your nose and slow breath out. Let your shoulders drop. Allow your jaw to soften and you can repeat this quietly. Say it like you mean it. I release what isn't mine to control. I reclaim what belongs to me. I create my next success from right here. I release what isn't mine to control. I reclaim what belongs to me. I create my next success from right here. Okay, now come back to the moment that you're in, because this moment is where your power lives. If you'd like to explore this deeper, I'll extend an invitation. A lot of people don't realize that their mind has patterns. There's favorite loops. Predictable flavors of sabotage that show up under pressure and make everything feel heavier than it needs to be. If you want to assess how much your mind is working for you versus against you, email me. I'll send you two free assessments and I'll invite you to a one-on-one call, so that we can talk through what you learn. And what it means for your next success. You can find the details in the show notes and if this episode helped you in any way, please share it with someone who's living inside a forecast of weather or life. Thank you for listening to the Your Next Success podcast. If this episode helped you, share it with someone who's building their next success too, and subscribe so you get the next episode, the moment it drops. I'll see you next time. Keep reaching for your next success.