Caroline: 0:04

What do you do when life keeps throwing punches? My guest today, Neena Perez, shows us what it looks like to rise with grit, grace, and God. She is proof that your past doesn't define your future. It can actually fuel your purpose. This episode is for anyone who's ever felt stuck in the story they were handed, but can feel a bigger calling, tugging them forward. This is the Your Next Success podcast, and I'm your host, Dr. Caroline Sangal. I'm a life first career coach and strategist on a mission to normalize questioning your career because I believe each of us is made on purpose for a purpose only we can fulfill. The longer we live out of alignment with who we are, what we do best, and why we're here, the more we miss out. And the more the world misses out On what only we can give the Your Next Success Podcast is where we explore how to build a career that truly fuels your life. We talk about self-discovery, smart job, search strategies, professional growth, and you'll hear stories from people who've navigated big career transitions themselves so you can see what it's really like to make bold changes and feel inspired to create your own version of authentic success, one that is aligned, meaningful, and truly yours.

1:39

Neena Perez is a transformational coach, author of Hit Me With Your Best Shot and host of the hit podcast, Straight Talk, No Sugar Added. She is the creator of the wisdom to wealth and Purpose by design frameworks guiding women through healing, mindset shifts, and business building. She blends faith, food, and fierce truth telling whether coaching clients, speaking on stage, or creating at the Purpose-Filled Kitchen. Neena's passion is helping women step boldly into their God-given purpose and build lives and businesses that create lasting impact. In this episode, you'll hear how childhood abuse, teen motherhood, and domestic violence shaped Neena's early years, and how she chose survival first, then growth. The God moment that sent her to culinary school, why she wrote Hit Me with Your Best Shot, and how speaking the truth became her path to healing. How she now blends cooking, coaching, and candid conversations through Straight Talk, No Sugar Added and the Purpose-Filled kitchen.

Caroline: 2:56

Welcome, Neena Perez to Your Next Success. I am absolutely thrilled to be having this conversation with you today.

Neena Perez: 3:06

I am so happy to be here. Let's do it.

Caroline: 3:10

Okay. I know you've shared a lot of your story on your own wildly successful podcast, as well as being a guest on many other podcasts. Today I'd like to try to focus a little bit about your career journey transitions, how different life events and other things shaped your chapters of your career thus far. to some of the work that you do now, and as an amazing coach, speaker, author, that's where we're gonna get to of what you are. Can you walk us back a little bit to your childhood when you were growing up? Help me understand how was that for you, and were there any particular activities or things you were drawn to or that you enjoyed?

Neena Perez: 3:57

Yeah, my childhood. It doesn't have a lot of happy memories. It was filled with a lot of abuse and constantly struggle, like my mom would make it very clear that we were struggling,'cause we had some, we had poverty and lived off the system and all the things. And, but one thing I do remember, there's a couple things, but one of the things I do remember is always wanting to be a chef.

Caroline: 4:22

Okay.

Neena Perez: 4:22

Since I was a little girl, I used to like just sit and watch my mom in the kitchen or my grandparents in the kitchen and just like, how did they do that, how did they create that? And then, Julia Child was on PBS, and so a little girl I would make, pretend I was talking to an audience and cooking and all of those things. it was something that I think to this day, I smile when I think about it because I think those were the pockets of joy when I was not happy.'Cause I lived a lot of my youth in a lot of anxiety and I didn't know that as a kid. you know what anxiety is when you're a little bit older, but constantly with stomach pains and anemia and all the things because I was always just full of anxiety. But, the cooking, that was definitely something that, was a true love and still is a big love of my life.

Caroline: 5:10

Where were you when you grew up? what location were you in?

Neena Perez: 5:13

Oh, I lived in Stanford, Connecticut.

Caroline: 5:16

Okay. So you're in this, environment with your mom or your grandparents, and those moments of kitchen and cooking are starting to spark this interest and joy and almost like maybe like an escape or being able to care for others through this, were they, what kind of foods were you watching them cook?

Neena Perez: 5:37

I mean, we're Puerto Rican, so it was a lot of spanish food, a lot of roast pork and rice and beans and all that. But I always lean towards, which is funny, I'm just thinking about this now'cause you're bringing this up in my mind. But like, it was always things like lasagna and, spaghetti meatballs and it was garlic bread. It was like Italian things, I guess it's'cause I was watching like Jacques Pépin and watching, Julia Childs and I think I was trying to just escape that family life. Like opposite of everything that my family is. and I think that's what probably sparked me to look at things a little differently. I never thought of that until right now. Yeah, it's interesting.

Caroline: 6:14

I was interested back in the day, I became interested in cooking, desserts and things. Not necessarily the nourishing, but even if I'm at a restaurant, sometimes I'm gonna look at the dessert menu to decide what I wanna eat, you know?

Neena Perez: 6:26

Heck yeah. You know, but for me nourishment or, I don't know I really thought of nourishment. my mom would feed us, whatever she was making for dinner. So it's not like we had choices, right? But, I do remember as a child with this anxiety and all of the abuse that was happening, that I found a lot of comfort in sugar. Like that was my comfort, you know, I didn't know then, I do now know that it does do endorphins in the brain, like a drug, but as a kid, I didn't know that. I just knew that if I had a spoonful of sugar, I felt better. You know, about what was happening in my home, you know? And so sugar became an addiction, which till this day I still fight. It is definitely something I have to control. Otherwise, I will eat sugar the entire day if I don't control it. It's interesting because as you become older, you go through a lot more things in life and you struggle with more things, but those core years of your life between birth and seven years old really do form and really stick with you if you don't consciously fight the subconscious, if that makes sense.

Caroline: 7:34

Oh, absolutely. Because in those formative years we are observing the world and we're drawing our own conclusions and we're doing what we need to do to survive in that moment. And yet later when we are just reacting, not responding, we don't know why and how. I didn't know why it was if I had some sort of rejection or some sort of unpleasant experience. I was grabbing the M&Ms and finishing the bag, right? So like I did, but I did not know that I hadn't even connected that was happening until, I don't even know if that was thirties or forties, which decade. But we're still working.

Neena Perez: 8:12

Same, but I think it's because when you were grabbing the M&Ms, like I've done many times, there was a comfort in that, and you didn't even know that there was a comfort in that, you just felt a comfort in that. And it wasn't until recently, I'm a person of faith, I believe in God. And I was in prayer one day, a couple weeks ago, and I'm just like, God, I am feeling overwhelmed by why am I still addicted to sugar and I'm trying to fight this thing? Like, this is ridiculous. And then he brought me to this vision, that same vision of my stepfather used to molest me, so I would fight him, but I'm six years old, you know what I mean? So, but my comfort was that, that little cup of sugar underneath the the kitchen table, and I had no idea. I forgot all about that, but that where it started.

Caroline: 8:57

Same, similar. It was a friend's father, so it wasn't necessarily a friend. But I'm pretty sure after all that trauma, somebody gave me M&Ms.

Neena Perez: 9:08

Yeah.

Caroline: 9:09

Somebody gave me an M&M. But, and now I can, you know, so I didn't want that. It's helped me become who I am.

Neena Perez: 9:17

Yeah.

Caroline: 9:18

I can still enjoy M&Ms now separate from that thing, but Now I can also pause a little bit and think Is this what I'm really wanting? What is the real need here? And sometimes I just say, screw it and I'm gonna eat the thing anyway.

Neena Perez: 9:31

Yeah, yeah. Same, right? And I think that, we start to develop these things as, we get older, maybe they become something different. Like, so for me, it became perfectionism, right? becoming a workaholic, like making sure that I was the best, that I had all the kudos you know climb that ladder because that was so important. I did it up until like my own hurt, right? Then I started to become, I have autoimmune conditions, like I have all these things because I work so hard. I'm talking 14, 16 hour days without breaking a sweat, right? Because that's just how I do things, you know? And even today, like having my own businesses and doing all these side contracts, and I also do work as a professor and like all these things, I immediately realize, like I'm at it 14 hours. What am I doing? So I have to check myself, because if I don't, I hurt myself. It's nobody else's responsibility.

Caroline: 10:25

it's so hard though, right?'cause we live our lives for the longest time and for me, achieving was the thing that was defined. And I knew how to get a A and let me get the award and get the thing, and I felt, and I was trying to become and be somebody in somebody else's mold. And, I was getting positive recognition for those things. But it wasn't who I was, it was what I was doing. I wasn't a human being. I was a human doing. So,

Neena Perez: 10:51

So good.

Caroline: 10:52

Okay. So you're a child, you're realizing that cooking is becoming a nice reprieve and something that you're genuinely drawn to and interested in. And then what happened, like high school or choosing after graduation? Tell me about that, what'd you choose? Oh, wait, high school. Tell me a little about high school.

Neena Perez: 11:12

High school. So I was pregnant at eighth grade, so I was middle school. I had my son in ninth grade. And I just remember being told I was gonna amount to nothing. This is, my life now. I was a piece of crap, because I was 14 years old having a kid. and back then we're talking about 1988, it just wasn't as common as it is now. And when I would go, when I did go back to high school because I had the baby in January of, my ninth grade year. know, it was, oh, there's the girl with the baby. Oh, can you believe she has a baby? Like, It was the rumor thing. And, my son's father was extremely abusive. Extremely abusive. Like he tried to kill me a few times, but the last time he tried to murder me, he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger, and because I know, I believe it's from God because God, the safety got jammed on the gun and he couldn't unjam it, and that's why I'm here today, right?

Caroline: 12:09

Oh my goodness.

Neena Perez: 12:11

High school was a nightmare. I barely graduated by the skin of my teeth because I was constantly trying to survive and I was living in a battered women's shelter my last year of school because when he tried to kill me I ran. And so it was me and my son and me working two jobs and going to school. So I had to arrange my high school schedule to be like part-time but packed so that I can work my two jobs to take care of my kid.

Caroline: 12:37

What were the jobs that you were working while also being a mom?

Neena Perez: 12:42

JC Penney's was one of the jobs and the other one was Finast which was a supermarket.

Caroline: 12:47

Yeah, I was in Ohio, there were Finast stores there. Yeah, it came in, came around high school.

Neena Perez: 12:51

I worked there too, and I had to do it. I had to do it because I didn't want my son, first of all, everybody was telling me like I would amount to nothing, whatever, but I did not want my son to quit when life got hard. And so even though he was a little peanut, I knew that those things would also live in his life, because I was 15, so he was going everywhere with me because what is he supposed to do? You know? And mom doesn't have a car, i'm only 15. So, just traveling with my kid and doing what I had to do to support him and also preserve my life.'cause I didn't know when his father was gonna come back around and try to kill me, you know? It was like all of the things and and my mom was on his side, she's like, well, you shouldn't have said anything or you shouldn't have done this. I'm like, he tried to kill me? She goes,"Oh, well." You know so, I love my Mom now. So, I always have to like say that I love my Mom because a lot of people are so, were so angry when they read my book, they were like, oh my God. And I'm like, listen, she was also surviving and so she didn't know any better, and I just forgive for that. And we're, we're good now, but it was a tough time and I don't wish that on anybody. But it made me who I am today too, the same time. So it's like this dual thing.

Caroline: 14:03

Interesting, right. And there's still, like with the Finast thing, there's still this like little bit of thread of some food related kind of thing too, and helping people, right? When did your faith start? Do you remember a time before is there a pre-God and a post God? Because this horrible event that you lived through yet, but for God, you're still here. That thing jammed. But even before that, while you were pregnant, did you realize God's got you, or?

Neena Perez: 14:29

no.

Caroline: 14:29

Can you sort it out?

Neena Perez: 14:30

I actually, always knew there was a God because my grandmother forced me to go to communion and confirmation and all the things that a good Catholic does.

Caroline: 14:40

Are you Catholic still?

Neena Perez: 14:41

No, no, no, I'm just a Non-denominational Christian. I was Catholic, or I don't know if I was Catholic but I had to go to school. I had to be in Catholicism. So, I knew that there was a God, like I kind of already instinctively in me already knew that. Not that I ever learned anything, I don't think from the Catholic Church, honestly, except for repeating certain things. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Catholicism, it just wasn't something that I was connected to. And as I grew up, I just kind of went away from that because it's like I had no connection. And so when my son's father, when I was pregnant, he threw me down a flight of stairs. Like he's tried to like put a knife to my neck. He's knocked me out unconscious. He's choked me almost to death. Like there's been a lot of moments and so I remember being very angry with God. Very angry.

Caroline: 15:30

Okay.

Neena Perez: 15:31

yelling into the sky like, why would you let all this happen to me? This has been happening to me. So I was a kid like, why do you hate me so much? Like, so I knew there was a presence, an entity a God, a something that I was mad at. But God didn't come into my life until in my twenties, I had gotten married, so I became 21. I got married and my son's father just woke up one day and was like, packing. And I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, I need to find myself. And I'm like, there's a freaking mirror right there. You're found. Hallelujah. What the hell are you talking about? You know? And he was like, no, I need to find myself. And you know, I'm not feeling complete now. Now we have my son and now we have a kid too. So two kids both being raised in this marriage. And I'm like, are you serious right now? then I find out it's because he was dating some 17-year-old chick. He was waiting for her to become 18 so he can leave us. And he did. So she became 18 and he left us. He was 30, she was 18, and he left me and the kids and yeah, just took all the money outta the bank account.

Caroline: 16:35

Oh my goodness. Okay. But where was this like in the midst of these things being thrown at anyone and the voices that you were hearing external to your own self, and maybe even some of the ones that you adopted inside yourself, but where was this resilience coming from? Or your like not succumbing to what part of the world was telling you.

Neena Perez: 17:00

I think part of me was succumbing, right? I dealt with a lot of anxiety and depression. So I think that part of me was succumbing, like constantly depressed, constantly a victim. But I knew that I had to survive. So it was more survival mode. Like really having to know that I had kids now can't just leave them. I can't just leave them.

Caroline: 17:20

Some people do. But you felt so compelled to have their lives be better?

Neena Perez: 17:25

Different, for sure. A hundred percent. And I think it's because you have a choice to make. So you can look at your past, and you can look at how you were raised, and you can look at all those things and say, I'm going to be just like that? Or you can look at it and say, I'm going to not be that. And that was always my thing inside of me as a little girl. I'm not gonna be like my mom. I'm not gonna be like my mom. Although if you saw my mom right now, I'd be like, oh my gosh. I look just like my mother. Right? But my attitude is very different. Right? So like my mother, all her life has lived off the system. Still does, right? I'm opposite of that, like I will work seven days a week, 24 hours a day to never have the government pay my stuff. You know what I mean? Like, that's just how I had my mindset and so I always lived in this place of, if I don't do it, who will? Nobody. So even though I got up depressed, I had to go do my thing even though I had anxiety, even though I had suicidal thoughts, even though I wanted to ram my car into a tree or throw it off of a bridge. I wouldn't do it. I just, I couldn't do it because who then would take care of my kids better than me? Nobody. And so I think I always tell them, I said, you guys actually saved my life. I don't think you guys understand that. You guys aren't just born and I'm your mom and you're my kids. They have saved my life. Because if it wasn't for them, I honestly don't think I would be here today. I probably would've went through with it.

Caroline: 18:55

Oh my goodness.

Neena Perez: 18:56

Yeah.

Caroline: 18:58

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that there's so many things that people don't say what's happening and Right. And when we can let that out, then we can validate thoughts and feelings other people are having and yet see that you have dealt with these things and yet here you are, and now you're still helping, still empowering. So your, having now two children, the man that you married left, what were you doing besides just trying to survive? Was there a working situation underpinning this?

Neena Perez: 19:33

Yeah. when I first met my ex-husband, it's kind of weird, but his cousin was like, Hey, I gotta go to Puerto Rico, take care of my mom. Do you want my job? And I'm like, sure what do you do? She's like, medical assistant. I'm like, I have no idea. I'm retail. I have no idea. She's like that's okay, i'll teach you. She trained me for a week and then she left. And so I was taking blood and vitals and all this stuff in 1992 or whatever it was,'91? I don't even remember. And, I quickly became the manager of the office, because that's who I am. Like, I go in, I look at the strategies, I look at what's going on. I fix everything. I make the SOPs, I do the whole thing. And, he's like, I can't lose you if she comes back. I don't know if I can hire her back. I'm like, don't do that.'cause she's only away for like a month. But then, yeah, I ended up like climbing that ladder and then climbing the next ladder. But it wasn't what I was I think born to do. Because I wanted to go back to school to be a chef, and although that was in the back of my brain, I never ever got a chance to do it until I was 35 and my kids are older. You know? So now I have the opportunity.

Caroline: 20:38

See, there's so many things when considering somebody's life and their career, there's so many things that influence. Most of the time, I'll say your career is like a iceberg. So most of the time people are focused above the surface. And so that's like, what's the title? The salary, the location, and the kind of what are you doing on the day to day? But below the surface is who are you?

Neena Perez: 20:57

Yeah.

Caroline: 20:57

What would you love to do? How is your communication style? What is your mental fitness, mental resilience? And most importantly, what do you want your life to look like? And how can your career fuel that? And one of the components people don't consider is family, right? So both the family you came from and the family you have now, or friends in any moment, for you, you saw cooking. Being some, a sense of nourishment, comfort, joy, and you liked that and you were interested in it. So that's part of your interest. And you saw your family and then deciding, I'm not going to have some of the things like my mother, I'm not gonna be on the system. I'm not, and not driving you. And then your own children wanting you to not just survive, but you are slowly starting to try to thrive and become and did the medical assisting as much as you can, but yet managing and taking over. Wow. Okay, so you're 35-ish. Your kids are older, you can now start to have a chapter on you.

Neena Perez: 22:05

Yes.

Caroline: 22:06

But still school costs money. So how did that, Tell me this.

Neena Perez: 22:11

You want this story? Okay.

Caroline: 22:12

Yeah, I do.

Neena Perez: 22:14

Okay. So I was really struggling, depressed, anxious. All the things. I was 30 years old and I was in medical now 15 years, right? So, I was going to the doctor's office and literally having anxiety attacks at the doctor's office because I, of course, I climbed the ladder. So now I have all these responsibilities and I don't wanna be there. And so, this is like a, one of those"What!?" Miracle stories, right? So I kept saying, I feel like I'm supposed to go back to school to become a chef, but is that really what I'm supposed to do? Or should I just keep, continue on the medical field, right? Continue there. And I remember I said, okay, God, I got a strong inkling and feeling in my heart that you want me to go back to school to be a chef, but I don't know if I'm making the right decision. So Caroline, I said, I'll tell you what, God, if you come down here physically. That's all I wanted a miracle, right?

Caroline: 23:06

Bargaining. I've done this too. Yeah, tell me.

Neena Perez: 23:09

You come down here physically and you say, Neena you are released, I will give my two weeks notice and I'll go back to a school. I have no idea where to go. Right? So, a school somewhere in the world. I said, so I will go back, I will go to school and if you come down here physically and say that I am released to go, I'll do it. 45 minutes later, my husband comes home from work. He was driving home. He said he was in the car, praising, worshiping. He comes into the bedroom. He goes, I have to talk to you. I said, sure. He goes, I don't know what this means, but maybe, you know. I said, okay. He goes, I was in the car, dancing to worship music. I'm praying to God, and he told me to come in here and tell you that you're released. I said. Look, I still get chills. I said, what did you say to me? He said, you're released. And I'm like, huh, oh. And I like almost fell out of the bed. Like even to this day like I get chills because I know that was a God moment. And I said, babe, and I told him the story. He's like, what? I'm like, yeah. He goes, well, I guess you gotta give your two weeks. He goes, I don't know what the hell we're gonna do, we don't have that much money. So I was like, I don't know, but that's what he said. I told him to come physically and you are physical, right? So I gave my two weeks notice. I remember, the nurses saying, oh, you're not gonna make any money doing that, and I can't believe you're doing this, and that's ridiculous, Neena. All the, all the negativities.

Caroline: 25:14

Yeah. Yeah.

Neena Perez: 25:15

The doctor was like, how can you leave me, whatever. I gave my two weeks and I'll never forget this. I was driving to the school. It was Norwalk Community College. I was driving there'cause I knew they had a phenomenal culinary program and I had found out, of course, now I had to find out. So I'm driving there and I'm like, Caroline, I was like. Okay, God, I hear that fathers pay for their children's tuition. I said, and because I don't, I never had a, I said, because I've never had a physical father and no man in my life has ever been good to me. You have been. So, dad, you need to pay for college because I cannot. Right? So I walk into the school, I'm like, okay, I'm here. I wanna go to culinary school, They're like, okay, fill out this paperwork, Uh, there's some scholarships if you wanna try to apply for them. We're not guaranteed. I got every scholarship. I got every scholarship for my culinary certification, my associate's degree. And while I was in my getting my associate's degree, we went homeless. We actually lost everything.'cause it was in 2008 when we had all of that thing, the big bubble burst. We lost our home, we lost our cars, we lost everything. We were literally homeless. And I was in culinary school. And while I was in culinary school, we didn't miss a meal because I would say to the chef, Hey, can my husband try the food that we're making? He's like, of course, so my husband would come try the food that we're making, because we had no food, right? We were homeless. So, we were living in our friend's living room on their couch, in our car. We had two cars, so one car got repoed, so we had one car. All the things Caroline.

Caroline: 26:52

And your kids were gone.

Neena Perez: 26:53

I had to like disperse my children, my one son went to my ex-husband because where was I gonna put him?

Caroline: 27:00

Right.

Neena Perez: 27:01

And my oldest son was like 18, so he had to go get himself a job and get a little rental room somewhere. And then my husband's kids, they were with their parents and stuff. So it was a lot. And I just remember, I'll never forget this because I was crying, I was upset, I was distraught. And I said, dad, you told me to go to school. You said, I am released. You paid for my education. Like, how am I homeless right now? And I was praying, praying, praying. And I'll never forget, it was almost audible. I heard, I told you to be obedient. I never said it would be easy. Okay. I gotcha. So I said, I'll stop complaining, but I'll tell you what, I'm a one up you. I said to God, I'm a one up you. I'm gonna graduate with a 4.0 because I'm gonna show you that I'm going to do what exactly it is. You're right. I'm gonna be obedient and do it all. And that's what I did. I was there 7:00 AM in the morning at school before the school opened. And soon as the guard would come open the door, I would say, can I just come in and do some studying? They're like, yeah, because I had nowhere to sleep. So I would go in and do some studying, stay for school, stay after school. Ask for a job at school, so I can clean the kitchen. That's what I did. I did what I had to do to freaking survive.'cause that's what Neena does, right? And so we did what we had to do. But guess what? I one upped God by graduating with a 4.25 GPA and he ended up making me the valedictorian of the school. So I've been, I was the valedictorian, I had a big speech with over 3000 people. It was amazing. So didn't end there. After school was my associate's degree, and I said, all right, dad, here, listen. Can you gimme a full ride scholarship to get my bachelor's degree? Because come on, God. 4.25. I'm not as stupid as people said I was. You know what I'm saying? Like, people told me I was dumb that I wasn't gonna amount to anything. What'd he say, dad? Huh? Wink, wink. What do you say? Sure enough, I get a full scholarship ride to Monroe College, where I ended up going to school, graduating of I think it was a 4.0 or 3.95,'cause one freaking person gave me an A-

Caroline: 29:07

Don't you hate those people?

Neena Perez: 29:08

Hate that. But I ended up graduating without a dime out of my pocket. So I did about six years of school, which included, of course, the certification, the associate's degree, and the bachelor's degree. Zero money invested in my part. Zero.

Caroline: 29:27

And you had this opportunity with the valedictorian in the speech to now have a glimpse, you already had a management glimpse and now you got a public speaking glimpse, and then you go, and you achieve and you get this bachelor's degree. And then what? Then what was the next?

Neena Perez: 29:46

Yeah, so then was, you're right, what was next? What the heck am I gonna do with this amazing degree that I got for free? I say for free, God paid for it. But, I tell you, what I ended up doing was saying, okay, well if you gave me the degree, I'm gonna do what I gotta do. And that's exactly what I did. I started to work at Jean-Georges Restaurant. I started to create my own business. I had a business called The Kiddie Kitchen, where I taught kids how to cook. I ended up, when I was in Norwalk Community College, I did their first program for kids, for underprivileged kids to come and to learn cooking so that we can give them a skill that they can grow on. And so I. I grew my business, grew everything, and then I got hired at this non-profit, amazing organization who needed somebody to build their kitchen from the ground up. I did that and then I became their director of culinary operations, and I did that for like eight or nine years. Uh, loved it. While I was doing that, I started healing and I also started discovering. Like, what is it that makes Neena tick and why do I struggle with depression and anxiety? How am I gonna fix this and what do I do to improve myself? So I got into personal development as I think most of us do.

Caroline: 30:56

How did you even know that healing was possible and who did you pick to help you with that journey?

Neena Perez: 31:03

I actually randomly picked a woman who I only visited a few times for some therapy. It was because I knew something was wrong with me. I was getting up at night, choking. It felt like I was choking from the anxiety attacks that were happening. And I just knew I could be a better mother. I can be a better person, I can be a better daughter. I can be a better wife, I can be a better. Everything. And so, I just started to ask God to show me direction on how to heal, and that's what I started doing. I started getting more into scripture. I started, then I started leading women. There was a program offered at the church I used to attend that was for leadership, so I took that course. It was like 18 months of rigorous stuff, but it was amazing. And then I started leading women in that direction. Then in 2018 I wrote my autobiography'cause it was time to heal Caroline. It was time. Like I really believe, like what you said earlier, once you start to speak the truth and speak what is inside of you, you could start to shift things. So I wrote my book and I was like, I know my family's gonna be pissed because I'm gonna tell a lot of family secrets. They're not gonna like it. But am I going to do it anyway? And the answer was yes. So I did, and they didn't speak to me for months, but that's okay. They got over it.

Caroline: 32:20

And so your book is Hit Me With Your Best Shot. I love that. Are you singing that song in your head? Like, Hit Me with Your Best Shot.

Neena Perez: 32:27

that's what exactly what happened. I was driving and I was, I was gonna call, um, the book, uh uh, my Mess In the Message or something like that,

Caroline: 32:35

Oh, I love it. Yeah, that too.

Neena Perez: 32:36

yeah. And I'm like, okay, but that's not the one is it? God? And I'm like, can you help me? God? And I turned off the radio, I had the windows going, and I'm like, I'm just gonna stay in silence. I'm just gonna stay in silence. And I want you to tell me what is the name of the book and immediately my brain hit me with your, best shot and I'm like

Caroline: 32:55

Yeah.

Neena Perez: 32:56

and

Caroline: 32:56

Fire away.

Neena Perez: 32:57

Yeah. At first I'm singing because I, I, I have ADHD so you can sidetrack me real

Caroline: 33:02

Same girl.

Neena Perez: 33:03

I'm like, I'm singing the song and then I'm like, wait, oh wait, that's the title. Oh, thanks. amazing. So that's what it, that's why it's called Hit Me With Your Best Shot. How I Overcame a Hard Hitting Life. It's a play on words, of course.

Caroline: 33:18

Oh my goodness. But you keep rising. You keep rising and you're lifting others as you climb. So that's a beautiful thing. This is so exciting. Okay, so now you have this title for a book. How was that like even becoming an author and going through that process and having it do well?

Neena Perez: 33:37

I had to really teach myself. I didn't have the income to go ahead and buy, like publishing rights and all of this get a publisher and the whole thing. So I taught myself. I honestly, YouTube University, a lot of it, you know

Caroline: 33:49

Wow. Yeah.

Neena Perez: 33:50

And just like I said to my husband, I said, sweetheart, it is time for my healing, in a bigger way and I need to write my book. And he's like, okay. I said, so you're not gonna see me. Probably for the next 10 months, I'm just letting you know every day after work, I'm coming home, I'm kissing you, and then I'm going downstairs, to my office and he's like, okay. And that's what I did. I literally did that for hours and hours every day. And just wrote, and I did a whole mind map, a timeline, and I just taught myself and I did it. And I remember writing, there was moments where I had to write and pause for a day or two because the pain was so real, you know.

Caroline: 34:26

Yeah. Did you have therapy in this moment?

Neena Perez: 34:29

I didn't.

Caroline: 34:29

Oh wow. So, it was just you and God, you and God.

Neena Perez: 34:33

Me and God and me sitting with it. You have to feel it to heal it. That's just how it is. You have to feel it to heal it. Stop running.

Caroline: 34:44

I was so scared of feeling right. I had a lot of thoughts. I had a lot of thoughts, and I could tell you what I think and I was, my head got me through a lot of what's made me who I am. But I was thinking It was all this and I knew my head was on my body, but it wasn't necessarily connected and feelings. Feelings were scary. And that's even the word I have for it is a child's word. Because that was when I decided I wasn't gonna feel anything. But then all this time, it's like having a hot stove and you put your hand on the hot stove and I kept my hand on that hot stove instead of just taking it off.'cause I was so scared of what it would be like to feel and go through things that I kept. Anxiety, depression, all of these things in the midst of still climbing somebody else's ladder. Right? What was giving you the permission, grace, ability, desire to feel and go through?

Neena Perez: 35:48

You know, I think I'm just hardheaded. I've always been the type of person who just straps on my boots and stops bitching. You know what I'm saying that's just how I think I am, because I've never had anybody to give two craps to listen to my bitching anyway. Right? So I've had to learn. Those skills of do it anyway. Do it afraid, do it anyway, do it afraid. Go ahead, go do it. Because who's going to rescue you? No one. Who's coming to listen to you moan and groan, no one. So get your butt up and get it done. Now, I've had to, in my lifetime, learn to soften that up for others because not everybody's me. Sometimes I see people getting caught in a loop and I wanna disrupt the loop. And so as a coach especially, I've had to pull back and be like, okay, let them go through that loop one more time with you. And then, give them a question that maybe can disrupt that. Normally I'm like, okay, are you done whining? Yeah. Okay, let's move on. Let's go. And I'm like, Neena, not everybody's like you. Calm down, let it go. Don't do that. It's, leadership, right? You have to learn how to lead yourself before you can start to learn how to lead others.

Caroline: 36:56

And then, so you became a coach. And got your certifications to be a coach. How did you choose the specific training that you chose to invest in for that?

Neena Perez: 37:09

Yeah, when I was I think it was like 2016 or 17 I was, seeking something, right? And I'm like, what do I do? How do I transition my mind from this victim to a victor? How do I do that? Yes, scripture's amazing, and I do it through scripture, a lot of it, but I knew there was something also deeper within me that couldn't let stuff go, that I was still this victim. And I was listening to, I think I got like on a free webinar or something, and I was listening to somebody talk about NLP neurolinguistic programming, and I'm like,

Caroline: 37:40

Was it Tony Robbins?

Neena Perez: 37:42

No, it wasn't Tony Robbins.

Caroline: 37:43

Somebody else's?

Neena Perez: 37:44

Mm-hmm, it was the coaching masters. They're really good. Their program is amazing, so I was like, what is that? Okay, so I wrote it down. NLP, what is that? So then I started research. I had to do all the research'cause that's how I am, I gotta do it all things right? So, I had to do all the research and everything to find out what the heck is NLP, what the heck is this? So then I got into neuro-linguistic programming. I got my certification in that. But then I loved this so much. Then I got my master certification in that, and then I got my positive intelligence certification and got, I just kept going. You just keep going. All the things, right? And I love coaching. I love coaching and I love cooking, and I love nourishing the soul, the mind, the body, the whole thing. I did coaching for, since 2018. And that's when I started my podcast too. So I was like, I was just going for all the things and then I decided recently. That I wanted to get back to my first love, which is back into the kitchen, which I was supposed to be doing a long time ago, I left it. like when I kind of left, cooking in front of like YouTube and all that. I used to cook and do videos and then I let it go and I'm like, I need to pick that back up.'cause that was my love. Yeah. So that's what I'm doing now, transitioning.

Caroline: 38:58

Yeah. So tell me, you're cooking, you're coaching, you're both, you're both and either or what, help me.

Neena Perez: 39:03

So I'm doing both. I'm focusing right now on my relaunch, my launch for It's called, The Purpose Filled Kitchen. And it's basically, purpose, right? So it basically, Caroline if you were here in, Texas or if we were somewhere we can cook together, me and you would cook a meal together and then we would sit down and break that bread together. We would talk about life, talk about what you're going through, talk about what you do. So it's basically the best of both worlds.'cause my podcast Straight Talk, No Sugar Added, it is doing really well and I love doing that. But I wanna mend the two. I think there's a beautiful way to do that, and that's what I'm discovering right now.

Caroline: 39:40

Oh, that's cool. With your cooking, are you doing that? Recording that?

Neena Perez: 39:43

Mm-hmm.

Caroline: 39:44

Oh, wow. Are you gonna travel?

Neena Perez: 39:46

Yes, i'm thinking of traveling. I got already a couple of restaurants that want me to come and do like a podcast type thing with them, so I'm probably gonna go in and talk to that. How did you do this, why did you do this, what are you doing today? And if we can cook together, great. That's what I wanna do. And it's always been like, you see my lighting up because it's always been like what I wanted to do

Caroline: 40:07

It's combining all these foundational building blocks into something. Well, if you find somewhere near Durham, North Carolina, come on over. My kitchen is not that fabulous. But it would be great to, learn how to cook something else. And then how do you manage when you have, I did it well, or I did it poorly? Depending on how you look at it, but our meal times have always been two or three different meals for any meal. Time served in any location, people decide. So whether somebody's gonna be in their room and they're gonna be in the other room, and I might be in the couch, and my husband might be in a table or he might eat, but Yeah. But anyway, but we could make it come together to break that bread and at our actual table and cook something up.

Neena Perez: 40:46

That was actually mandatory at my house. The kids had to eat at the table with us and we had, something we used I invented called Free time. And Free time, I dunno if I told you about this, but free time was basically the kids can talk about anything that they've been through or anything that they've done with no consequences. As long as they do it at the table. Nobody walks away from the situation, and we have to think about two to three alternatives to that decision that they've made. Now, if they walk away from the table, consequences are coming. But if they didn't walk away from the table, we resolve it together like grownups.

Caroline: 41:24

How did you come up with that? How did you even come up with that?

Neena Perez: 41:27

I figured if I don't do that, they were gonna be doing a lot of things behind my back that I would never know about. And I know I did a lot of things behind my parents' backs that they still don't know about. And so I wanted to have a safe space for them because I never had that. I never had that. Like in my family, you say anything outta place, you are gonna get your butt beat down, I didn't wanna be that person. And so I remember introducing it to them. They didn't trust me at first, so they would tell me little things like they spilled something or. And then they got bigger, right? Oh, I smoked weed today. Oh, you know, I kissed a girl. It got bigger and bigger

Caroline: 42:05

Yeah.

Neena Perez: 42:06

Those were a little harder for me, but, till this day, like my kids are in their thirties now to this day. They call me for everything. When I tell you everything, everything, you know, sometimes I'm like, TMI, TMI, you know.

Caroline: 42:23

I'm glad I feel safe, like a safe landing for this conversation.

Neena Perez: 42:26

They're like, mom, don't you know that you're our venting to, you're our speaking to you're, you're gonna guide us. My son just said to me the other day, you're not always right, but you do give good advice, Mom. I'm not always right? What? What?

Caroline: 42:41

Think again.

Neena Perez: 42:42

Exactly, I'm like

Caroline: 42:42

Think again.

Neena Perez: 42:43

You just don't think I'm right, right now. You'll get it.

Caroline: 42:47

Yeah, oh my goodness. This is amazing. So, how do people work with you? How do they find you or how do you find them?

Neena Perez: 42:55

A lot of people find me. I have a lot of clients, but they're all word of mouth, right? But a lot of people will find me through either my podcast, which is Straight Talk, No Sugar Added, or just Neena Perez, N-E-E-N-A, Neena Perez anywhere. And you'll find me, you will find me, for real.

Caroline: 43:12

I'm big on authentic success. So to me, authentic success is however you define it and what you want for your life and your career. But how do you define authentic success for you in this moment?

Neena Perez: 43:24

I think for me the most authentic thing is that you can't turn anything that's a thriving business for long term if you have a broken spirit, right? So, I think you need to really think about how you can heal and what is it that you really authentically wanna bring to the world, not what Caroline told you, not what Neena told you, not what the world tells you. But what instinctively is inside of you that maybe needs to heal so that you can then start to thrive in the places that you want to. To create. For a long time, I didn't know what I wanted. I knew I always wanted to be a chef, but I didn't know how to get there and I didn't know if that's really where I was supposed to go until I paused and I really started to ask myself the deep questions. What do I actually want? So authenticity is coming out like you, whatever that is, whatever that is, but definitely heal so that you can really live up to what it is you're trying to create.

Caroline: 44:24

Oh, this is so beautiful. I wanna thank you. This is, this was a lot in a very, you're the master. Maybe it's from the podcast and all the years, but you, this was.

Neena Perez: 44:33

This is fantastic.

Caroline: 44:33

Way amazing of a conversation. Thank you so much for all your vulnerability, for sharing all these tidbits, and I am so excited not only for you and your future, but I'm excited to see how our friendship grows and develops over time as well.

Neena Perez: 44:48

Agreed. Maybe you'll be at my table like cooking with me. I hope so.

Caroline: 44:52

I would love it. Let's figure out what we are putting it in the universe and let's, that's gonna get picked up in time, but I know we're putting each other's paths for a reason. There's something beyond this that we're here to do together. So I appreciate that.

Neena Perez: 45:05

Let's do it. Thank you for having me.

Caroline: 45:06

Thank you, Neena. Thank you for being on Your Next Success, and I'm excited for your next success.

Neena Perez: 45:13

Thank you.

45:15

Connect with Neena at neenaperez.com and on social media at@NeenaPerez. Grab her autobiography, Hit Me with Your Best Shot, and tune in to her podcast, Straight Talk, No Sugar Added. For real unfiltered conversations that inspire action. If you're ready to turn your own testimony into a transformational business, check out her Wisdom to Wealth program. Links are in the show notes. Neena Perez's story is a powerful reminder that no matter how hard life hits, you can rise, rebuild, and even create a legacy that nourishes others, mind, body, and spirit. Thank you, Neena, for bringing your honesty, faith, and fire to this conversation. And to you listening, take one action today toward the vision God's put on your heart. As Neena shows us, it is not about waiting for the perfect conditions. It's about choosing the courage in the middle of the mess. Here's to your next success.

Caroline: 46:24

Thanks for listening to Your Next Success with Dr. Caroline Sangal. Remember, authentic success is yours to define and includes aligning your career to support the life you want.